The E’en of All Hallows
T’was the e’en of All Hallows and all ’round the house,
All the creatures were stirring, including my spouse.
The skeletons were hung by the ghosts in the air.
Pumpkins were carve, lit, and put out to scare.
The hordes were all costumed, tykes roused from their beds,
With visions of chocolate bars spinning their heads,
And I on my broomstick and Pa in hunchback,
Had just settled down with our crow and black cat.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I opened the door to silence the chatter.
Then to the door, vultures flew like a flash,
Reached into the treat bags and raided my stash.
The moon as it spread on the leaves ruddy glow
Gave the lustre of blood to objects below.
And what to my wicked old eyes did appear,
But a miniature devil and his pointy red spear;
With a little old witch, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment; they were more treat than trick.
More rapid than batwings, the monsters they came.
Parents whistled and shouted and called them by name:
“Now Vampire! Now Pirate! Now Princess! Now X-men!
On, Casper! On Wizard! On, Big Bird and Batman!
To the top of the porch, to the door on the wall,
Now knock away, scream away, howl away all!”
The dry leaves all scattered as banshees wailed by,
With their flashlights ablaze, slicing through the night sky.
Then up to the doorbell, the demons they flew
With their bags full of treats and a buddy or two.
And then in a moment, I heard on the roof
All the clattering shells of eggs shattered aloof.
Yolks dripped on my head, as I turned myself ’round,
And, fleeing the scene, was a mummy gauze-bound.
A werewolf approached, fur-clad head to foot,
Now prowling and howling and up to no good;
A bagful of treats he had flung on his back,
And I was quite sure; he was out to attack.
His nose how it wrinkled! his bared fangs were scary!
His sharp claws were drawn, and his arms were quite hairy!
His mouth was snarling, his eyes were aglow,
His friends, they all joined him: Zombie, Reaper, ‘n’ Scarecrow.
The stump of a hand, Zombie held in her teeth.
Dripping with blood, she wore a torn, dirty sheath.
She lurched as she moved, had a grey hollow belly.
Sweet treats could not hide that her dead flesh was smelly!
Scarecrow was stuffed and still approached with such stealth,
That I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a nod of straw-head,
Soon gave me to know, I had nothing to dread.
Reaper spoke not a word, but went straight to his work;
Filled his shroud’s pockets, waved his scythe with a jerk,
Then putting his tissue upside of his nose,
Tipped back his head and blew three snotty blows.
He ran to his group, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew, sugar-stoked, with their fists full.
But I heard them exclaim as they ran through the night,
“Happy All Hallows e’en” and to all a good fright!”
My little parody of:
THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
Poem by Clement Clark Moore